Dear you!!

Ey, it passed the new year of 2008 already! Jeez, I know I’m this damn ass to play my fingers around with the entire blog, that I’ve been ignored transferring the whole ideas of my abso-fuckin-lutely life to this scrap.

Well, to tell the truth, I’ve been in a new relationship. Not totally new, I reckon. I think the relationship was already there, but we just didn’t realize it. Bottom line, I’m seeing someone these days, but not physically. It just happened last October 2007, when he decided to visit me for the third times. Meanwhile back then, I didn’t recognize his whole ideas of coming here. Rather than, I was amazed with the commitment that actually came from used-to-be a non commitment guy...hahaha! (No heart feeling, babe) Well, I guess I just need to round my clock all over again. There’s nothing wrong with a so called “new” relationship, right? Rather this way, than just bumping into unknown parties and end up the next morning lying on some strangers' beds. That’s kinda spooky actually, and thank God...it never happens.

I’ve been rerun “Sex and The City” episodes. Actually, this is just an extra episodes to the never ending Takuya Kimura series, hahaha =D. Love Carrie Bradshaw and all her ideas there. There was one episode when she mentioned about being single. “Is being single freaking out a woman? Are we born to have our own partner?”

The ideas of being single (as me practically, where he is still trying to finish his school), sometimes cannot be handle by mostly women in the city. I just noticed that for man, to be single at our age, is something he doesn’t be ashamed of. Really…take a look at my guy friends who actually enjoying their late 20s being single. Nothing to worry about, enjoying their works and life they want to. But take an example of single woman around my age. Being single at our age is something that most women are afraid of. Seriously, guys will always ask something like…”what are you doing on your spare time without partner?” Well, for me that is nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t care what people think of me walking alone in the mall, or trying to indulge myself alone on a night spa, or just crying out loud over Takuya Kimura’s series. I know he’s not here yet because of his responsibility for his study. But there will be time for us to be together again. And when that time comes, I’ll be one of the luckiest person in this world who always believe that we are born to have our own partner =)

Actually, dont even bother with this special day anymore...haha, I'm getting old. Ni Ju Nana Sai...well, happy birthday to me!

Got new shoes from my closest friends at office, got cigarette metal box from Marthin and Yudhi. Just treated those closest people within lunch time...no liquer, no billiard, no clubbing. Just simply normal birthday.

Otanjoubi Omedetou Sirubia chan... 

People said "Love is Beautiful", but sometimes it means to be cruel too. At last, that's what I feel right now. People said, "Forget the past, move on!!". But how can I move on?? Memories of him still playing in my head, and it's so sweet just to forget about it...

I never thought that I can be this much hurt. I thought I can be strong enough, I just realized that I'm so weak...I want to be healed...

The Great Maestro was there!! That was really my best day in the month. Left office around 7 pm at night, went to watch the 3rd Jakarta International Java Jazz Festival, with special show performed by Sergio Mendes...aahh, I wished I can watch 3-day straight performance...Damn, it was cool day

Happy new year 2007. It's been awhile that I haven't write anything in this blog...there's not much people read it anyway, haha! Anyway, many things happened these past weeks. I've lost my cellphone, damn s**t!! IT was just 2 months old..haa! I was panicking, oh well. There's nothing I can do about it. HIde came last x-mas to visit me. We had fun in Yogya and Jakarta. Tho, as usual with his weakness of travelling..that guy always stuck between being healthy and sick..haha! But at last, he was okay.

I'm still playing with number in insurance company. Yet, they promoted me to be permanent employee. Now I only have to focus myself on works and exams too. I think I will stick with this field. Somehow, if I keep changing my interest, then nothing that I can be expert on..right? Well, we will see. I'm planning to take PhD as well. 

Marriage???? perhaps not in the next 5 years   There's other thing too, we decided to end our relationship. Me and baby...we are no longer together. I'm very much sad with this tho, perhaps this is the best way? I dont know, only time will tell...

How does it feel for being lonely?

This is the longest time I haven't write anything to my journal...it's been awhile. I'm still working yes, with the same rountinity, everyday from 6 am to 8 pm, that make me want to puke everytime I'm doing it. Ahh, I'm freaking bored here in Jakarta. I thought I'll be fine by coming back, but seems I'm not ready to go back to my old thingy. I already get used to life where I can take care of myself, being independent is what I want. Tho it's cheaper to stay back home, but the burden that I have to carry...

I miss Philippines...too many beautiful memories that I've been thru there. Missing my baby so much. This is the longest time we've been apart. I admitted that I've changed since I left Jakarta in 2000. I've opened my mind, my view. People that I know now are the same with people that I left in 2000. Nothing change on them, still the same...still with their narrow minded... 

I need my freedom back...

Yeii!!! after two times interview, first with head of actuarial and HRD..then with the CEO, i finally got accepted in this company. It's a life insurance company, with me in position of actuarial staff. Aaahh, i got little bit scared, coz this is the first time for me to be in my field!!! I will start on monday. I am soooo nervous but in the same time excited too   I hope this will go well...

Aah..I've been neglecting this journal for more than one month. I'm home..back to my family right now, finally!!! Had 3 weeks vacation in Malaysia and Singapore. It was fun! Seeing Hide, Ron, and Erik there too. I miss IC's life...I miss my baby as well. Its already a month since I left the Philippines. Wanna get job ASAP...got nothing to do nowdays

My current activities: Browsing and looking for jobs!!! (BORING!!!!)

Happy birthday to me!! No more quarter century...ahhh i'm 26 now. Jobless and husbandless..hahaha. I really wish I can celebrate it at home, but I'm still here stuck in Manila   No choice. My flight will take place on May 19th...Another place to jump. This time destination is Seremban, Malaysia...

Yeii...finally the time had come! Graduated last Sunday 23rd with my mom and sister next to me   But, they left yesterday, back to Jakarta. Aaah, so short! Even though I didn't get much sleep for 5 days they were here, but I had fun!!! Seeing them again after 6 months made me happy. Oh well, I'm going home anyway....

Manila is freaking hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!